I am quite certain that there was a time that I wasn't so very jaded. But my spirit has been broken by large and unhealthy doses of reality, things like student loans, stretch marks, sucky jobs, cheating boyfriends and poisonous friends. I'm not generally this dark but Mother's Day gets me all pissy and vinegary.
There is nothing more infuriating than fabricated holidays. In our quest to be a kinder and gentler society, we now have to have a "day" on which we are collectively required to celebrate and thank someone or something for basically doing what they are supposed to do anyway. It's not enough to have a handful of bona fide holidays like Passover or Christmas, we now have to celebrate Administrative Professional's Day, Nurses Day, Sister's Day, Grandparents Day and so on ad nauseum.
Aside from the completely fabricated nature of the holiday, I feel very uncomfortable with the notion that I am asking my child to annually undertake a grand gesture of gratitude that requires said child to buy me lots of stuff and take me out to an expensive restaurant to ensure that I understand that they are grateful that I endured interminable hours of labour, wiped their ass for the first two and a half years of their life and financially sacrificed so they could have princess dresses, sparkly shoes and go to summer camp. Whilst I like to believe that our mutual respect and gratitude will be expressed as a family in a more informal and ongoing manner, I suspect that Baby Girl is unlikely to give a monkeys about what I have sacrificed for her and would rather that I just commemorate Mother's Day by paying her therapy bills or her rent. So, I am going to spare both of us the indignity of having to celebrate the most contrived holiday ever conceived by the Machivellian retailers and I declare Mother's Day null and void in the Lemony Lemonade house. R.I.P.
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